Recently I've been hit with a tsunami of resentment and rejection. When attacked with such vitriolic anger, your first question is "why". Especially when the source is your children. Assuming I'm an awful father, any hurt inflicted was not purposeful. While apologies aren't enough, I can't change anything. Therefore my past errors now sentence me to parental purgatory.
I've tried to help through good and bad times. That required acting like a parent. Ultimately
I just wanted to make things better. If that makes me an
awful father, then so be it.
One of the many accusations is that I care more about friends than family. While that could not be further from the truth,
I'm guilty of cherishing those who cherish me. It's human nature to want to be loved.
There's only one reason that I write this blog. It's a pure and indulgent release. A daily dose of freedom through expression. Everyday the blank page allows me to record whatever is on my mind. The result is pure bliss.
I am who I am. At this point in my life I know that I can't change perceptions. Saddened beyond belief, I must let go of what I can't control. I love my children and my hope is that someday they'll love me.