the heart grow fonder?
For most of my adult life I haven't lived
near family. My career has taken me to
places that were always far from those I
loved. While I never made a conscious
decision to destroy my family it seems
that I may have done just that. After
years of wandering, I now know that
without frequent physical interaction,
it's hard for a family to be a family.
Shortly after I married, my parents retired to Virginia. For several years my ex wife and I lived near her parents and large Italian family. Eight hours away, my parents always felt "left out".
After we moved to Illinois, our "nuclear" family was all that we had. Then suddenly divorce ripped that family apart. Left in the debris were four children without a family support network of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins nearby.
From that day on, my kids lived with their Mom. Suddenly the dynamic of our relationship changed. Now my kids "visited" and slowly my role shifted from parent to benevolent "uncle". In part because my home was NOT their home. I became a stranger.
Since I met Frank we've lived our lives wherever my career took us. Residing several states apart we still connected as a family on Holidays and summer vacations. However as my kids grew, they built their own lives far away from mine.
While blessed to have lived in lovely places, I never felt at home. Then I discovered Montana. Everybody doubted I could live there. But after an extended non-compete hiatus in Lewistown I was hooked!
Over the years the gap between myself and my children grew to be more than miles. This schism is filled with pain, regrets, and misunderstanding. Now I'm left with four adults that I love deeply but for many reasons don't really know.
They now all have lives of their own far from mine. Some of us crave a much deeper connection. However furtive encounters, texts, e-mails, and phone calls aren't enough. My hope is that the Money Pit will become our collective "home". A place where we can reconnect. In truth I know that what happens on the Lifetime Channel never happens in reality. Yet somehow, we need to live and act like a real family.
I've got to figure this out.