It's time that I finally confessed. After but a brief
respite in the gym... I gave up. Please, don't all
of you unleash a tsunami of support. The last
thing I need is a plethora of facebook postings
telling me things will get better. The truth is
I simply loathed every moment of the process
and rather than feeling better about myself,
I sunk into a deep, dark funk. My mind wasn't
ready nor was my body. Intellectually I know
that something has to change, but in reflection,
I'm not certain working out is the answer. Rather
than battle the bulge, I've decided to embrace the
reality of who I am and what I've become.
Accepting one's age and how that physically
manifests itself upon your tired old bones is
tough. I have no desire to be twenty one
ever again. And yet, somehow I have a rather
warped self image that thinks my ideal body
weight should be at or around one hundred
and sixty eight pounds. That's rather odd
given that at twenty one, I thought my body
was too skinny whereas I was certain that my
nose was too large. Now that Mother Nature
has realigned things, my nose seems to be
in proportion with my corpulent composition.
Maybe for the first time things are in balance?
Most of my dearest friends are contemporaries.
It's obvious that we all struggle with our body
images. Life is a constant battle against the
pounds that self indulgence and a cultivated
palate bring with age. Isn't it time that we
simply accepted how we've evolved and enjoy
life? All one has to do is look in the mirror and
the facts are all there. We're older, wiser, and
in most cases happier. That's because we've
finally embraced the soul within us. So why is
it so hard for us to embrace the body within
which that soul resides? Nothing ever stays the
same so maybe flab is absolutely fab?!
Don't worry, I'm not prepared to strip down and
strut my stuff... yet! However I am resigned to
embracing my expanded self. Once I've accepted
reality, I hope to move on to a healthier place.
A friend once had a raging affair with a much,
much younger man. When they first met, he saw
a sexy, smart, beautiful, and confident woman.
Age didn't matter, the person she was did. Slowly
she realized that if he could love her "as is", why
couldn't she!? Ultimately when the affair ended,
she knew deep down in her soul that she was a
fabulous, sexy woman. Sometimes we just need
someone to tell us the truth. Amen Brother!
