Tonight is another glorious gala.
Can you sense from my poetic
prose how thrilled I am at the
prospect of another evening at
the Waldorf? Once again the
invitation reads "Cocktail Attire".
That means all women will be in
black sheaths and all gentlemen
will don dark suits. As usual my
question is what to wear? Rather
than bore you with my sartorial
dilemma, I've decided to discuss
WHAT NOT TO WEAR.
In the old days cocktails meant that
you brought the girls out... literally.
Well, at least if you were a cocktail
waitress. Skimpy attire was required
in order to achieve big tips. The
shorter the skirt, the tighter the top
which meant that many a cup (DDD)
ran over! Gone are the days when
men could be men and girls were
expected to forgive a backside pat.
In the days before single bars, ladies
of a certain professional slant often
frequented bars. They perched upon
stools waiting for a gentlemen caller
to pass their way. Every man about
town (and out of town) knew that no
man's wife would be seen sitting solo
at the bar. Therefore it was safe to
assume that any available lady was
literally... AVAILABLE.
In order to appeal to the weaker sex,
these ladies donned whatever might
display any assets to their advantage.
Often the tone of said frocks was
as off color as the lady wearing it.
What is most sad is that today, many
reputable young ladies don similar
attire for evenings out. How do the
girls that have to earn a living break
through their sequined ceiling?
In our collective effort to be
elegant while appearing thin
we've lost all sense of color.
Gone are the days when a
lady wanted to stand out.
Now most prefer to blend in.
While I hate to be a party
pooper, back to my question,
what shall I wear ce soir?
