It could be that I was traumatized by
pin the tail on the donkey or got food
poisoning from the cake. However it
happened, somewhere along life's way
I developed an aversion to birthdays.
Try as I may, I can't remember your
birthday and therefore forget to send
you a card, note, or gift. Date books,
facebook, and calendars do their best
to record and remind and yet, I forget.
Please know that you're not alone.
This unfortunate phenomena isn't
limited to friends. In my youth I
rarely acknowledged my parent's
birthdays. Since becoming a Dad
I've done my best to find ways to
not miss my children's big days.
While never my intention, I have
almost missed one or two. This
invariably causes the newly aged
to be offended, saddened, and
angry at my disregard for their
longevity. How could I forget?
Honestly, I try. Candidly I can't figure
out why I have this mental block. As
a child my birthdays were celebrated
with much pomp and circumstance.
Post my adoption, my folks were so
thrilled that almost every day was a
celebration. On the big day, Mother
orchestrated unforgettably elaborate
festivities. So, why can't I now do the
same for those I love? Party pooper?
One could suggest that it's all due to
the circus. As previously recorded,
I'm not a fan of the big top. Whereas
my father was a ardent devotee. For
many years he dragged my birthday
entourage to Madison Square Garden
for a tedious afternoon amidst it's three
rings. While I absolutely loathed those
days, I certainly don't suffer from post
traumatic clown syndrome. There are
no residual scars beyond a desire to
avoid Cirque du Soleil at all times.
The fact is I simply can't remember.
My disregard of your birth is not
due to heredity or example. My
parents never missed the chance
to celebrate a birthday. Till the
day she died Ethel kept a stash of
birthday cards to annually mail to
the masses. While Mother might
prefer to deny certain individuals
existences, those she deigned to
acknowledge were lauded with a
card filled with love plus when
necessary, the occasional check.
Birthdays were very important.
Given I can't blame anybody else,
I assume responsibility for my
birthday blunders. For the record
I sincerely apologize and want to
reinforce that if I forget, it truly
isn't personal. I commit to try as
hard as possible to acknowledge
your big days. That said, innate
human nature and related habits
are usually impossible to change.
Therefore I doubt that some odd
Pavlovian impulse is now going
to push me to send you a card.
Rather than make promises I can't keep,
please consider this blog your collective
birthday blessing. Wow, I can't believe
you made it another year! How fabulous
you look! I thank all of you for making
my life deeper, richer, and better. On the
appointed actual day, please remember
how important you are to me and how
much I treasure all the things that make
you so special. I LOVE YOU!
