The other day at lunch, our friend "M"
said something very wise. And I quote,
"It's easy for me to abstain, moderation
is not a viable option!" As always, the
esteemed sage of Norwalk is right again.
Like it or not, I must do it the hard way.
Restraint has never been my strong suit.
That seems to be only suitable for those
willing to embrace mediocrity. I'd rather
decadently devour something or piously
leave half on the plate. There seems to
be no middle of the road for me and at
this point in my life, I think that's OK.
Less is more if or when that's appropriate.
I've always admired those who seemed to
know themselves well enough to know
when to say no. This king of excess can
only marvel at any individual who's
happy ordering just one drink. Do they
possess some secret wellspring of self
restraint? It's doubtful that most of them
are battling some deep, inner conflict as
they resist a second. They're happy with
what they've got. If they wanted another
they'd order it! Less is more? My mantra
is three or four or more or NONE.
Some of us learn the hard way. Years ago
after I finally came out, I discovered boys.
As many as possible on any given night!
While I'm not proud of past indulgences,
my carnal education ultimately helped me
realize that all I needed was ONE MAN
to share my life with. Frankly if anybody
had told me that, I wouldn't have listened.
I had to experience it all for myself and
once I did, lesson learned! While I don't
recommend that approach, for a guy like
me, going to extremes seems to be the
only way for me to evolve and succeed.
My eldest daughter "E" is just like me. At
age two we sat on the kitchen floor next to
the hot stove. Daddy pointed to the burning
inferno and said "Hot, do not touch, ouch!"
She looked at me, then the stove, again at
me, once more at the oven. Then looking
her father straight in the eye "E" touched
it! After tears, I kissed her reddened palm
and said "See? Daddy was right, hot!"
Whereupon, once again she looked at me
as she touched the searing surface. Four
repeats and a blistered paw later, my little
"E" finally learned her lesson.
For whatever reason some of us don't
figure it out until we hit rock bottom.
Early on I learned that toilet paper did
not grow in closets and shit happens.
After I blew up a car engine that was
less than a year old by not putting oil
in it... I learned that yes, you really do
need to check the oil. After not paying
taxes for years and then dealing with
the government, I learned there are two
things you can't avoid, death and taxes.
Fortunately, I never had to die in order
to embrace my mortality! Live it up!
Right or wrong some of us aren't
willing or able to be rational. Call
it over the top or off the deep end,
by our very nature we are people
of extremes. The key to survival
is knowing just that. We have to
daily manage and/or balance the
related liabilities of our journey
to enlightenment. It's inevitable
that at times we'll hit rock bottom.
However it's a bet that we'll rise
out of the ashes smarter, stronger,
and better. That's the way we roll.
