Having fully settled into domestic life
I've come to realize it really doesn't
matter what one does... rather it's how
one does it. Within the corporate arena
one walks into an already structured
environment. Hence post a period of
what I call "disorientation" one learns
the ropes and hopefully climbs higher
and higher. However when one works
for themselves the only structure is
whatever one self dictates - and that
can be more than challenging unless
one is up to said structural context.
I'm a creature of habit. Hence at least
in theory creating my own schedule
shouldn't be all that hard. If I'm truly
honest I've actually find limiting my
boundaries rather enjoyable. In fact -
I've become a bit manic about where,
when, who, and how. Therefore if
anybody tries to break my personally
induced trance I immediately become
lost, frustrated, and more than cranky.
Therefore what should be my time of
ultimate freedom has instead become
a prison of my own expectations.
After all there is an awful lot to do
around the house. Maintaining this
manse is a huge responsibility. Who
knew that two lads could make such
a mess? Simply cleaning up our act
is a full time job. Layer on social
obligations and volunteer work.
Then add elder care. Oh... and did
I mention gardening? Meanwhile
I'm consulting which means when
the client calls, I answer. Suddenly
one's dance card is full before the
first rhumba of the day begins!
I guess I need to try to be more flexible.
However given yoga deep knee bends
are not my forte, that means limbering
up my willingness to think out of the
box that I've put myself in. After years
of complaining that I had little time of
my own - I find that hence "retirement"
I still don't have any time. Being open
to new things requires a willingness to
do whatever - whenever. While Frank
finds that sort of open ended existence
quite appealing, this sedentary soul
prefers to keep myself on a schedule.
What drives us to establish a routine
even if one isn't necessary? For most
common place is more comfortable
than happenstance. While change is
inevitable few are ready nor willing
to embrace a shift in circumstances.
There was a time in my life when I
arrogantly crowed and promoted the
natural evolution of life. Now I find
myself passively yet aggressively
rebelling against anything out of the
norm. Is this a sign of old age? Or
have I finally given up?
We must allow ourselves the luxury of
exploration in order to experience the
enlightenment that natural accompanies
anything new. I'm not suggesting that
you to climb Mount Everest or divorce
your spouse. Rather I'm telling us both
to try something out of the ordinary.
Complacency is comforting but you'll
never learn anything new unless you're
willing to participate in some form of
adult education. Deep within us all are
many unfulfilled dream. Isn't time to
make those dreams finally come true?