I always say that a single phone call can
change your life. Yesterday I found out
that dear friends lost a child. Honestly,
upon hearing the news everything just
stopped for a few minutes. The shock
of such a revelation was sobering. After
all, it could easily happen to any of us.
Fate is more than capricious in doling
out misery. Hence there but for the grace
of God go any of us. And at least for me
their painful loss was a reminder that
life is precious and temporal. In truth
we're all here today... gone tomorrow.
Our babies are always just that. Whenever
I dream of my kids they're not the adults
they now are but rather the babies they
will always be in my heart. Could that
be the higher being's attempt to offer us
insurance against life's highs and lows?
When a baby arrives one has no choice
but to care and love for it given they are
helpless. Slowly throughout those early
years they mature and come into their
own. Without the memories of happier
times few of us might be able (or willing)
to navigate those horrific teen years.
Being a kid ain't easy. Especially in
an ever more complex world. Some
children survive horrific existences.
So much so that a very wise friend
likened it to emotional cancer. Other
seemingly "normal" offspring fall
into a pit of addiction. Then there
are those kids who are angrier than
hell at the world, you and anybody
else who gets in their way. Layer on
top of said problems a heavy dose
of hormones and it's quite a miracle
that anybody survives adolescence.
I've come to believe that God gives
parents those years of unconditional
love to counterbalance all that the
future will bring. My youngest "M's"
son is the cutest little boy ever. Not
only is he endlessly laughing but at
just a tad over five months he's trying
to crawl. While in theory said next
stage will be quite exciting, soon an
unfettered child will be taking over
her house! All the reason to treasure
the here and now, enjoy what we
have, and hope for a bright future.
Yesterday my eldest "E" called for some
parental advice. As we compared notes
a tsunami of memories of her childhood
overwhelmed me. They say what goes
around... comes around. Therefore it's
safe to assume that she's going to have
a lot of fun dealing with her daughter
as she navigates her double digit years.
Stretching one's boundaries, pushing
one's limits, and challenging anything
and everything is part of growing up.
The good news is, once they're out of
the house they're on their own!
Which brings me back to the sad news
that inspired today's blog. Knowing
both parents I can assure you that they
absolutely, totally, and completely did
their best. Good intentions aside, they
battled circumstances far beyond their
control. In the end their child became
a young adult who willfully rejected
common sense, healthy choices, and
basic morality. Therefore long before
her tragic death they'd mourned the
loss of their once happy child now
unable to function in the real world.
Once our children are grown and gone,
what are we parents left with? Happy
memories of good times that never fade.
They usurp whatever has been said or
done since. The adults who now stand
before you are the end result of their
personal choices, mistakes, and success.
Sometimes they still like their parents,
However often they don't. That reality
doesn't matter because deep in one's
heart a giggling baby still loves them
forever. That's why being a parent is
worth all the pain! FEEL THE LOVE!