Over the past nights I've dined with several
of my lady friends. All of whom are highly
successful, beyond attractive, and incredibly
smart. And... SINGLE. As we dished over
dinner it became apparent that most available
men seem to be incapable of commitment,
candor, and kindness. As a gay man I can
fully understand given I spent my time on
the male offensive. However man to man
combat is much easier than any war of the
sexes. Hence these truly special women
struggle with whether to go it alone or grab
whatever guy they can get their hands on.
One of the key challenges in straight dating
is that he is different from she. Now, don't
get all ruffled. I definitely do not subscribe
to any theory that women are the weaker
sex. Some of the best bosses I've ever had
were women including my beloved Mother.
Yet there are nuances to the emotional and
conceptual makeup of each sex that are at
the root of all evil. Hence boys will be boys
while the girls stand back and incredulously
watch. There is truly no other explanation
for such foolishness as callous rudeness,
overt advances, or not returning one's call.
As an innocent bystander I've seen it all. My
girlfriends struggle through the mating game
as I apologize for my fellow males. The hurt,
pain, and confusion caused seems quite futile.
However if I step back and look at it from my
experience, the primary issue seems to be the
innate differences between the sexes. In the
gay world it's simple. Sex now, love later.
Therefore within the confines of a gay bar or
grinder, all involved share the same agenda.
Initially what matters is looks. Thus we boys
quickly sort through the available options
and select our Mr. Right for the night.
Much like any short term commitment, the
rules of the gay game are clearly defined.
Both boys size the other out, see if there is
any chemistry, do the dirty deed, and then
move on. There is nothing more to it than
that. If each enjoyed the other's company
they may go at it again. Slowly but surely
a male heart may grow fonder until finally
love blossoms. Once a fellow is in love,
there is no turning back. We become putty
in the hands of the object of our affection.
Ultimately said victory is well worth the
wait. Even if it took a long time in coming.
Hence I kissed more than my share of frogs
prior to meeting Prince Frank. Being on the
endless hunt is a lonely enterprise. Yet even
if men want to share their lives with another
they can't help themselves. Thus an endless
cycle of trial and error. Which in the case of
most heterosexuals only hurts the women
involved. Guy's priorities are the complete
opposite. A woman's first desire is love and
commitment. And while experiencing an
orgasm may be an added benefit, it's never
on the top of her bucket list. Which explains
the eternal dichotomy of he versus she.
Ultimately my advice to the love worn is -
if at first you don't succeed, try, try, again!
In the case of dating males there is safety
in numbers. Ultimately the odds are in
your favor only if you run the gamut. It's
best to not sleep with most of those you
fraternize with. However you must keep
your expectations at a minimum. Few of
the guys you meet will be ready or willing
for much more than a hookup. Thus it's up
to you to keep things within context. And
maintain a wait and see attitude. So what
the buck?! HAPPY HUNTING LADIES!
