Saturday, June 17, 2017

JUST CALL ME TWO TEMP




Too hot to handle!
Last night upon my return to
Manhattan all I could say is
"WHAT THE HELL?" That's
because the city was sizzling
at high temperatures long after
sunset. Causing me to wonder
what the devil is going on?
Hot or Cold?
It seems that I am to longer
able to stand the heat. I now
have but two temperatures -
boiling or freezing. Having
never experienced such wild
climatic shifts prior, my only
explanation is that I'm in the
midst of male midlife crisis.


Don't go changing...
Stop laughing! I'm not the first man
to experience a dramatic hormonal
shift. Mind you, my problem is only
temperature related. Be assured that
everything else is operating just as
well as it always has! But more and
more I don't have the same energy
I once had. Nor can I find a comfort
zone in relationship to my personal
climate. I sweat, shiver, then shower!

Off and On
So, what explains my complete
lack of personal climate control? 
Between us, I must confess that 
I've put on a little extra weight. 
Could that be the cause of my 
shifting internal thermometer?!
Fortunately I've found the answer, 
LAYERING, lots of LAYERS! 
All day I simply act like a stripper. 
My sweater or jacket goes on 
and off, on and off! That's the 
only way I've found to regulate 
my internal highs and lows.


Boys will be boys...
Aging is inevitable. Like it or
not we're all getting older. For
whatever reason men foolishly
fight it till the bitter end. What
could be worse than Grecian
Formula and a comb over?!
Maybe an eight hour erection
due to an overdose of Viagra?!
Anti-climatic isn't it?!

Signs of the times...
I'm not at the top of my game.
Like a tea kettle whistle, my
body is sending the message
that I'm not as young as I once
was. Remember your old car?
If you drove it hard and fast it
would quickly overheat! Guess
it's time to slow down and let
life flow. Geritol anyone?