Saturday, August 5, 2017

BACK AT YOU



Exit strategy
Some advise that one should never look back.
While others suggest that hindsight is 20/20.
Which is my experience given I walk behind
thousands of fellow New Yorkers on a daily
basis. What's obvious is that few if any of us
take a backward glance with any regularity.
The end result of said oversight is more than
unfortunate. You see the majority of us don't
have our own backs. Leaving us vulnerable
to posterior traumatic stress syndrome. The
fact is each and every one of us should have
an exit strategy. One which insures that we
cover our assets from any risk of backlash.
Behind the seams
In my experience few if any of us are label
conscious. That's the only explanation for
why so many walk about with labels flying
in the breeze. My natural reaction is to poke
their tags behind the seams. However I've
found some take offense at being prodded
by even the most well intentioned stranger.
Equally offensive is being forced to view
the backside of some label through a sheer
top. Some things are best left unsaid so why
not cut out your labels before you exit the
premises? Or if they're so important, insure
they stay where they belong. Out of sight!
Asset management
Beyond expanding one's horizons, our
personal growth warps perception vs.
reality. Any sinner does whatever it
takes to cover up their crimes. Using
fashion to counter balance negatives
by donning flowing tops over skinny
bottoms. In theory these hide much of
the evidence. Yet often said subterfuge
gets caught up in the moment. Or one's
waistband. Leaving behind ample proof
that our biggest issues are behind us.
Thus one should check their rear view
mirror for major moving violations.
Push overs
Some have said hair today, gone tomorrow. In
a rush to get a head, some blow their cover.
Bedhead is a frequent rear view on my way to
the office. Many men assume that what they
see at face value creates a lasting impression.
However looking behind proves it's obvious
that over compensating for a lack of follicles
isn't necessarily forward thinking. Like it or
not what's gone is gone. Rogaine promises
aside, chances of a hair raising experience
are highly doubtful. Rather than fight what's
inevitable why not shave your head? A clean
pate is better than trying to hide one's deficits.
Rear admirables
Strolling along the streets of Manhattan
is often a beyond booty full experience.
The majority of men about town have
embraced skinny (tight) pants. Meaning
that their rear exposure is maximized to
it's best advantage. Keeping one's eyes
on said prize is easy given most fellows
seem to be in a rush to get wherever they
are going. Leaving the rest of us behind
to enjoy the view. And if that seems like
a back handed compliment so be it. All
that can be said is thanks for the show -
and most important - BACK AT YOU!