Yesterday I returned home to discover our street
corner cordoned off. Long story short, a guest
of the hotel next door had "checked out". As in
jumping off the roof to their death. Beyond a sad
and sobering sight - it was a harsh reminder that
one can literally go off the edge. Leaving those
they love to clean up whatever wreckage they
leave behind. All of which could be deemed as
a coward's way out. However I can't help but feel
that deciding where, when, and how to end it all
is also rather brave. If for no other reason being
that one finally reaches their own conclusion. Or
at least puts an end to their pain and suffering.
It's rather easy to lose hope. Especially when
it seems as if all are against us. However the
agony of defeat is often the best form of adult
education. At some point we hit a dead end
and realize we're in the wrong place - at the
wrong time. And that the only person who
can get you out of such a mess is you alone.
Obviously taking one's life only limits your
options. Whereas taking control of even the
worst of situations allows for a future. If one
subscribes to the theory that we control our
individual destinies - it's up to each of us
to propel ourselves into the right direction.
As I've shared prior - that last months haven't
been the best for me. Due to nobody's fault but
my own I made the wrong decision. Leading
to circumstances beyond my control. Once
I realized that nothing was going to make it
better, I patiently waited for others to come
to the same conclusion. Fortunately late last
week we finally agreed that I was better off
anyplace but there. Therefore I'm no longer
part of the team. And much like any gambler
I played my cards and lost. But in no way am
I sorry for taking such a risk. If only for the
fact that I've once again learned my lesson.
Seasoned leaders know that success requires
the skills of a mixologist. Like a cocktail a
company succeeds when all the elements are
in perfect harmony. Even post an occasional
shakeup, the right mix of people, strategy,
and circumstances can create magic. Yet if
anything throws said stars out of alignment
disaster can be imminent. Leading a team is
akin to being a juggler. You must know when,
where, and how to add or subtract. Changing
direction requires a carefully orchestrated
transition. Sadly it seems that the majority
of business leaders lack a sense of balance.
Once things come crashing down it's best to
pick up one's pieces and move on. Which is
exactly my strategy for "next." Today I'm on
a plane back to Montana for at least a month
of recuperation, restoration, and renovation.
The fact is I really don't like to err. Nor do I
enjoy wasting my valuable time on a losing
proposition. Hindsight may be twenty twenty
but recent events have simply reinforced that
I really shouldn't rely on others alone for my
success. And that even the best of intentions
can't guarantee insure it. At this point I've no
doubt it was worth it. Or... at least I hope so.
Everyone makes mistakes. Yet the majority of
us benefit from the error of our ways. Rather
than be downtrodden by recent events I will
consider this failure a success. My return to
Manhattan got me back in the mix. Proving
that even this old dog can learn a new trick or
two. The question is what will I do with my
newfound wisdom? And where do I go from
here? Could another professional "gig" be in
my future? Or has all of this confirmation that
I'm better off on my own. The jury is still out
as I sift through the debris of what happened.
All I know is I'm glad it's over and I'm out!
