Yesterday I was totally OUT OF IT. For some
reason - I simply couldn't get my act together.
Thus through the course of the day I bounced
from task to task - project to project - e-mail
to text - without ever accomplishing anything
of merit. All as I left a trail of disjointed debris
wherever I went. Yet that wasn't what I found
to be most disconcerting. Rather it was the sad
realization that my brain synapsis could NOT
connect the dots. Which left me a proverbial
lost lamb. Try as I might I couldn't rebound
from the wolves roaming within my head. So
trust me... yesterday was just plain BAAAD.
Obviously we all have "off" days. Hence every
once in a long while there comes a time when
try as we might - we're our own worst enemies.
Fortunately for us both, Frank is smart enough
to avoid my mania. Unfortunately I didn't have
the luxury of hiding someplace else to avoid
my inner demons. Therefore my worst enemy
was sitting right there beside me - like some
evil siamese twin. Torturing me with conflicting
messages. To the point that by the end of the day,
all I could do was sit on the sofa, binge watch
House Hunters on HGTV, and nibble on some
Girl Scout Cookies. Honestly... how sad is that!?
When stuck in life's deepest pit it's easy
to understand why some people go crazy.
Along with sundry disconnected thoughts,
I started to wonder if I was suffering from
some physical ailment rather then simply
nuts. Could that be a sorry excuse for my
perpetual haze? After hours of worrying
about all sorts of horrors, I finally decided
to say something to Frank. Incredulous but
incredibly kind, he assured me that I was
not on my way to a pine box. And somehow
his support made it all seem better. Soon
thereafter I went to bed. I was a total mess.
And then all of a sudden, I awoke this morning
sans said demons. How capricious is life in that
one can go to bed a mess and awaken literally a
new man! Therefore much of my morning was
spent picking up after myself from the day prior.
Along with righting some errors in judgement
that I'd made along the way. All of which causes
me to wonder what went wrong? Post thinking
that I may be going nuts I have finally come to
this conclusion. Which simply is that sometimes
we can't help ourselves. Try as we might, some
greater forces sucks us into a vortex of doubt,
heartache, and... foolishness. What a waste!
Post such a period of darkness I have finally
seen the light. Meaning that I've decided that
we all need a periodic crisis to put things in
perspective. If nothing else my disastrous day
was proof that things could be worse. And
that fortunately, life on a whole is more than
good. If you're like me your biggest challenge
is maintaining a balanced perspective. And
accepting that there is very little that one can
control beyond how we react to whatever life
hands us on a daily basis. So as of this today
I'm looking on the bright side. All is good in
my world. And what could be better than that?!
