The other day I realized that I'm a stereotype.
In the past I always knew that if I wanted to
find fellows of a certain sort, an antiques store
was the place. Invariably there within sat an
older gentleman. Wearing a pair of battered
Todd's driving shoes. And a slightly tattered
but still dashing tweed sport coat with requisite
suede elbow patches of course. Then I looked
in the rococo mirror and realized I had become
exactly that man himself. All that was missing
was a French bulldog rather than a borrowed
cockapoo at my feet. So when did I become
"one of them?" No different from the rest?!
Why am I'm surprised?! Even when I didn't
identify as "gay" everyone assumed that I
was. Which could have been driven by the
fact that I have always been a home-a-holic.
Thus stereotypes aside, I'm simply being me
at C+V HOME. I enjoy helping others see all
that the decorative world at large has to offer.
Recently a lady tested every chair in the shop
while touching everything else. She loved it
all yet couldn't help but comment "I wonder
if you'll sell things like this to folks here in
Montana." A query to which I my response
was "actually we do." And so much more!
Last month a local lady purchased a plethora
of lovely furniture. In part because she was
thrilled to finally find something out of the
ordinary. Which in Montana normally means
antlers, taxidermy, twigs, and gigantic leather
recliners. Making her happy makes us happy.
However even boys like us who like boys will
be boys. Hence when decorating our homes
we've stayed away from florals, ruffles, chintz,
and the like. Now that we're buying for others
we can indulge in our feminine side. Thus one
of my favorite items the the shop is an Italian
bombe' chest covered in hand-painted posies.
So, does expressing my feminine side prove
that I'm a sissy? I've no idea who, when, or
where "they" decided blue was for boys and
pink was for girls. However as the father of
two of each sex - I can assure you that most
children of a certain sex naturally gravitate
towards hues. Both of my daughters went
through purple and pink stages. Whereas my
sons never even gave said tones a thought.
Could it be that an affinity for certain things
is natural? That deep in our DNA are codes
that push us towards certain things? Or does
society define what we can and cannot have?
One thing is certain, I'm a man. Therefore I can
assure you that I've no interest in living in life
a la Boucher. However it's highly doubtful that
I'll be watching football any times soon. Even
if some might have us think differently gender
identification has nothing to do with colors,
behavior, wardrobe or assorted accoutrements
one accumulates while here on earth. Equally
important - it's NOT about whom you choose
to love or share your bed with. Rather, it's all
about what's deep within. What separates boys
from girls? Natural phenomena or bigoted bias?
Are we trying to be someone we're NOT?!
All of which means that a man can be a man and
still make a damned good pie. Long ago societal
forces created a series of dictums that have little
to do with male versus female. Creating a pseudo
set of gender criteria only insured that one sex
usurped the other. An unfair advantage that our
children - the Millennials are slowly eradicating.
Since 1989 the number of stay-at-home dads has
more than doubled. Over two million men are
their kid's primary care givers on a daily basis.
A phenomena that is not only brave - but shatters
preconceptions. A phenomena I find quite manly.
And in a man bun sort of way... kind of sexy!