The other afternoon I chatted with a
dear friend. In the midst of a rough
period of life she asked me through
her tears "will this ever end?" After
affirming that yes, all bad things do
come to an end I recapped the saga
of my life. Methodically recounting
disaster after disaster, heartbreak to
heartbreak, disappointment upon
disappointment. And all of a sudden
I realized that it NEVER ends. Thus
chances are it will get worse before
it gets better. But it WILL get better!
The truth is life is rarely fair. For
many reasons we all reach a point
of no return. A time when life self
destructs. Yet that's rarely driven
by "karma". Rather I've found that
torture and heartbreak are simply
key components in our maturation.
The evolutionary process that most
of us must suffer through in order
to become better people. While I'm
not one of those zen gurus I know
that what hurts us the most - helps
us even more. No pain... no gain...
Who hasn't loved the wrong person?
We tend to be attracted to the worst
kind of people. Making excuses for
objects of our affection who are too
broken to ever be "fixed." Post hitting
one too many dead ends some opt for
an alternative route. Or decide to play
it safe and stay single. Soon thereafter
t0 meet their perfect partner. If at first
you don't succeed... try... try... again!
Sometimes you have to sink low in
order to soar to new heights. I was
a mess when I first me Frank. I'd
just filed for bankruptcy and had
NO credit. When my job required
a car, Frank signed the loan. I was
only able to travel on business by
using a card that Frank gave me.
No longer able to afford my own
apartment, Frank took me into his
home. And since then nothing has
given me greater satisfaction than
returning his generosity and trust.
It's tough to watch those we love
journey to the dark side. However
tough love often sheds light on the
end of said tunnel. There is little
benefit to fueling another's exercise
in futility. It defers the inevitable.
Thus I've found that the best way
to help a friend in need is to leave
them alone. And then await their
triumphant return with open arms.