Given the controversy down at the border many
talk of nothing but Mexico. And while said issue
is of tantamount importance, it's not the subject
of this blog. Rather it's the Americanization of
"Mexican" food. Wherever one dines out there
seems to be some sort of dish inspired by cuisine
from south of the border. And while I may crave
the occasional Margarita. Rocks with salt. There
is something - I repeat one issue - that I consider
to be proof of the fall of western civilization.
That most dreaded of culinary scourges THE
TACO BAR. Or as I prefer to call it, the end of
the line. The absolute point of NO return.
When did it become acceptable to force your
guests to participate in a do-it-yourself fest.
One where piles of ground beef, processed
shredded cheese, and iceberg lettuce are the
stars? Obviously theres some appeal in salsa
dancing. However there's no dancing around
how unacceptable it is to pour a tsunami of
red sauce over said mess in order to make it
edible. In the end such a spread is CHEAP
and totally UNAPPETIZING. Yet given all
of the other edible options in this world, why
do some continue to torture the rest of us by
forcing us to belly up to the TACKY BAR?!
All of the above brings out the worst in me.
Hence I find myself revolting a la Pancho
Villa when asked to ingest such a Mexican
hot mess. Especially at a wedding, major
celebration, or life event. If you're willing
to invite a crowd then invest a few more
pesos rather than serve a vat of queso. How
about some flank steak served with a green
salad and some grilled vegetables? If you
can't do more than treat guests like illegal
aliens, invite us for some cake and coffee.
Why compromise on quality? Or is this all
because you enjoy inflicting pain on others?
As with our border issues we must draw a line.
So I'm building my own wall and if crossed,
watch out! Ill will not be And if you cross
it, watch out. I will not be forced to eat refried
beans out of the can. Or a lukewarm Velveeta
melange con carne. Let alone guacamole out
of a JAR. If you must serve Mexican then do
it properly. Roast a pig. Or tempt me with a
mole'. Served with a bevy of freshly made
tortillas. Most important treat me with respect.
Either dish out a proper meal or let me to stay
at home and eat as I see fit. But if you must
eat trash, drive yourself to TACO BELL. At
least they sort of know what they're doing...