Yesterday my youngest daughter got older.
It's hard to believe my "baby" is the woman
she has become. Somehow in twenty nine
years "M" grew up. A phenomena that still
amazes me. I could go into great detail as to
why. However much like showing somebody
my vacation pictures the thrill would be mine
alone. Suffice it to say that my daughter is
not only flesh of my flesh. But an example
who inspires me on a daily basis. And most
important, does all she can to make life better
for her family. She is truly a gift from God.
The question is where did she come from?!
"M" is not only a phenomenal parent but also
a devoted spouse. Like her husband she is the
offspring of divorce. Which probably explains
why they work so hard at being the best they
can be. My parents also were raised in broken
homes. Hence the reason they clung so closely
to the other. And truly were beyond devoted to
the idea of being the perfect family. A more
than admirable goal, throughout their lives
they were living examples of true and selfless
love. And while said phenomena skipped a
generation, three of my four kids are happily
married with loving families of their own.
Where did I go wrong? First in believing that
somehow I could purposefully alter my natural
self. Second in dragging a lovely lady through
that journey. And finally in traumatizing my
four innocent children via the intensity of the
disappointment, disillusion, disruption, that
comes with divorce. Innocent bystanders, they
were exposed to reality at all too young an age.
While ultimately they somehow survived, the
scars of said torture altered their course. Both
for their good and bad. Obviously I cannot
change what happened. Nor would I want to
given who they grew up to be. It is what it is.
Nobody prepares us for parenthood. Nor are we
put through any type of pre-screening to insure
we are up to said challenge. Whether planned
or a gross error in judgement, having a baby is
a life changing experience. One which literally
lasts a lifetime. Some kids grow to appreciate
their parents for who they are - mistakes and
all. Others end up hating them for exactly that.
Either way we all can't help ourselves. Shit
happens. As does wonderful things. The secret
is to appreciate whatever comes our way. And
as adults embrace the fact that how we choose
to live our lives is our decision alone.
